NY is a strange place, but at least I am used to it and feel relatively at home there. The suburbs are also strange, but given the length of time its been since I've lived there (10 years!), they can sometimes seem as foreign to me as Asia. Today, at my parents house, I drove a car and went to a 7-11 to buy a lottery ticket (mom's request) and coffee. Sounds simple enough, but I found myself feeling like a foreigner - going through the thought sequence of driving a car - ok, put on your seat belt, adjust mirrors, drive slowly, smile at unknown neighbors. Self-aware - Can they tell I am not used to driving? A little sign on the 7-11 window says Live Bait. A few scruffy outdoor workers are inside. Do I look out of place? Looking around the store - where is the coffee, what kind do people usually get? Uh....can I have a Win for Life scratch off? I hope I did ok, as i pull into the driveway, that behaved like a local. It's strange to simultaneously want to fit in and stand out.
I flashbacked into another world earlier this weekend visiting my sister at UVA (where I also went to school). Courtney lives in the frat area, off a road officially called Rugby Road. The neighborhood is beautiful actually: colonial homes of brick walls and white columns, green lawns, stone fences and birds chirping. Walking around on a Saturday morning, before all but the most ambitious college kids were awake, you'd think you were in a rich, southern neighborhood, not one inhabited by college students.
That afternoon I had a treat of attending a traditional UVa event - an outdoor party / "fish fry" at a frat, complete with a band an outdoor keg. Besides bringing back memories, and being a great source of entertainment, I kept thinking how "classic" american this college scene was, and how interesting people from other countries would find it. After months of being an outside observer to other cultures, I guess it's hard me to shake the perspective. I don't think its a bad perspective, as long as I don't alienate myself in the process :) So I was sure to kick back some beers and mingle with the "locals." Although I did decline to drinking a bourbon and coke on the roof...
I continued my escapade that night. We went to another frat party to hear Pat's band play. I boldly did my duties - waited in line in the basement for a beer, trying to catch the eye of little fratties behind the bar, got beer spilled on me by the girl in front of me, etc. I was "in it," man! The frat boys behind the bar rule the world - they can pick who gets a beer! Swarms of people on the other side of the bar, raising their glasses, calling guys' names they know - anything to be recognized and get a beer. Are you pretty or cool enough? Do you know anyone or are you on the outside? I used to be feel so mad at the antics. I hated feeling like I was on the outside and that these guys had so much power. What ego! I can still relate to these feelings, but I felt something very different this time. When I watched these young guys walking around behind the bar, I felt happy for them. Why not be young and beautiful and wield some power in a little microcosm of a world? To feel important and attractive, even famous. Many of us never have that experience, and anyway, theirs wont last long. In just a year or two they will be dumped into the real world: a world of working and anonymity, and a future of growing old and losing their beauty. I was glad they were having their moment. (I can't remember what books speak to this, maybe Dorian Gray, but its a pretty classic theme.)
I had a great time at the party. Pat's band rocked out classic 90s music - all your favorite radio sing alongs. I was glad to be hanging with the locals, and feeling like a local, all at once :)
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